The acid tongue
Do you know that moment when someone asks you a question and you have to make a split-second decision whether to be entirely honest or politely vague? Perhaps next time I’ll choose vague…
Preface: I met up with Isobel on Tuesday for a coffee, a catch-up chat and to wish her happy birthday (which is tomorrow by the way). Never did we dream, upon entering Starbucks, that we would exit with a deeper, fuller knowledge of the word ‘bitter’. You can get her perspective on her blog, Tea and Cakes.
So, we’re having our drinks. Mine is lukewarm and to be truthful, I like it hot. Not lukewarmish enough to get up and complain about, mind you. Just so-so. But the Starbucks-Barista-Guy comes over asking how our drinks are. Of course you have guessed that I say, ‘Well, it could stand to be a little hotter, actually.’ Much to my delight he eagerly volunteers to get me a fresh cup. Wow, that’s service with a smile! And into my hand goes a new, piping-hot cup of cappuccino.
Not only that…I also have thrust into my possession a voucher for a free cup at a future date. Again, ya gotta love good customer service! Now, if it had just ended there…
The aforementioned Starbucks-Barista-Guy-Who-Also-Happens-To-Be-The-Manager comes by again asking about our coffee experience. I should have left well enough alone, but out of my mouth I heard,
‘Erm, to be honest, I’ve never been a huge Starbucks fan.’
(A glint creeps into the corner of his eye.)
‘While the cappuccinos are nice,’ I continued, ‘I find the regular coffee to be a bit bitter.’
He took the news quite well, I thought.
I must mention that at Starbucks-Coffee-Training-University they seem to arm their employees with vast amounts of knowledge. Most of it I am sure is for their own enrichment, for the customer will rarely want or need to know it.
Barista-Manager-Guy instantly enrolls us in his personal Starbucks-Coffee-Taste-Testing-University-Distance-Course. Out comes a tray of samples and with a faint nod to a wine-tasting event, we are told to smell the aroma, slurp in a portion, swirl it around and analyse what our mouths are telling us. No buckets to spit into, though.
Following the lengthy lecture on tasting zones in an average mouth, bean blends, word pictures that accompany tastes, roasting times, acidity levels and how that differs from bitterness, my conclusion is…there’s no such thing as a ‘free’ cup of coffee.
You remind me of the time I was running for the train home when a guy asked me if I wanted to taste some tea at the Gresham Hotel. I’d get €10. I was dying for a cup of tea anyway… and! money! The testing was rigorous - mostly I just made up my answers - and by the time I got to the train, I was totally wired. I’d drunk about ten cups of tea in fifteen minutes. I didn’t really mind that, but when I opened my envelope, I’d only gotten €5. Oh well. I still got my tea
25 May 2007 at 8:47 am
Gosh! I didn’t know they cared.
25 May 2007 at 9:18 am
Burst out laughing……….serves you right. hehehehe.
25 May 2007 at 10:47 am
Times past when I went over to the States I really looked forward to a Starbucks coffee. However, I got satieted pretty quickly. I find it very strong - and bitter. Now every so often when I get the yen, there is a Starbucks just down the hill at the Dundrum Town Centre. Somehow, Starbucks has lost its special appeal.
25 May 2007 at 11:38 am
Great post. Lovely, responsive service you experienced, eh? I like those experiences much more than those from the other end of the spectrum.
25 May 2007 at 6:18 pm
Starbucks takes their coffee seriously. There is actually a local coffee shop that really burns their coffee. I can not stand to go into. I drink lattes so I don’t worry about the coffee lesson. But at least you learned a bit more about coffee.
25 May 2007 at 6:48 pm
Unfortunately, you see, you’d gone to Starbucks. That was the beginning of the end, as I’m sure you’re aware. I, personally, only take people I don’t care for to Starbucks, and that’s only if I really don’t like them. Or if it’s business.
We spit upon the ground when we pass Starbucks, on our walks. They’re a plague and a pox.
That said, I find their coffee to taste … like burnt green beans. Consistently, across the world, they’re the same … nasty, burnt, green coffee beans.
I, too, however, suffer from honest-answer-itis. I’m working on it. It’s difficult.
25 May 2007 at 6:58 pm
Ayyeieieieiee! I would have run screaming from the place. Sometimes there is helpful and sometimes there is not-so-helpful. I’m actually not a big Starbucks fan either, although when I travelled a lot by air last year, I got addicted to some holiday-ish cinnamon’y thing they had. I really only like coffee when it is about half milk. And then I can pretend it’s a meal.
25 May 2007 at 9:25 pm
LOL Well you have to give him some points for trying. Though I prefer most anything to most Starbucks blends, I will often go there because the sad reality is they’re the most convenient thing outside gas stations haha. I have quickly learned, however, to not criticize their coffee in their shops, almost as quickly as I learned that asking for a “Venti” anything whilst in Caribou is most definitely a no-no!
26 May 2007 at 3:07 am
hindsight is 20/20. but it is very hard to leave well enough alone. a very dear friend of ours is married to a starbucks manager. here in northern calif. it is either starbucks (the conglomorate) or peets (the home grown). i am a peets lover and though i know better, there are times i can’t help myself from taking a dig at starbucks coffee in his presence. when will i (we) ever learn!? take care, and do enjoy the coffee!
26 May 2007 at 3:27 am
I wonder what he’d have done if you’d answered his question with, “I don’t like Starbucks because it uses its corporate muscle to buy up multiple sites in expensive, high density areas and slowly squeezes out the local competition”?
In Seattle, there actually were intersections with three or four Starbucks within half a block.
26 May 2007 at 4:11 pm
I love my coffee…if my day job does not work out, I’ll use you as a reference when I apply for a job as a Barista…by the way, are you becoming an advocate for good customer service??? Love your story!!!
27 May 2007 at 6:40 pm
The comments made it worth being late to reading - we buy Starbucks as a treat when we are in town. Mine has to have extra whipped cream and after I slurp that off - I give the coffee to M. He loves the taste. Maybe I’ll pass on your experience so he can get a caff hi.
02 Jun 2007 at 3:33 pm